Fear-free


March 31, 2010

Pls stop calling me to cover MC or last minute call me to in shift early anymore.
I hv my own limit. Almost everyday da same thing happen. WTH!
Learn to Say NO and Say I DON'T CARE.
Loves "I don't Care" from 2NE1. Thanks gL. =)
今天决定宅一下 =)
昨晚大表姐aka大姐姐来到了这里,理所当然的会个面。
每次见到她都很开心,因为她很美,人也很好。
重要的是,她是我由小到大的偶像。比起她的一切,我真的不算些什么。

畅谈了欢笑泪水齐聚的一整夜。她说阿公去世的后几天,她梦见了阿公,阿公的身旁有个白色的东西,但她一直都看不清楚那是什么。可是,今早她告诉我,她昨晚终于梦见了白色的东西,可是她不能说,说了就不灵了。她只是说,那白色的东西是要她告诉我,不要再因为不能带阿公回中国,而内疚了。现在搞到我一直在想,那白色的东西,到底是什么?

大姐姐说,不要一直把自己处于灰色地带,只选择黑或白,那会对自己好一点。好,我会尽量。

March 28, 2010

累了,所以双眼会常放空。
很想,不再管别人说什么,就是不干了! ha!
刚才真的要不是gL working aftr shift,
我想我真的会笑不出来。实在是。。“太累人了吧?!”
很确定,问题的出现是在于“人” 。可是,
我已经没有太多的情绪。好像不会生气,只是很累。

My next week schedule keep on changing by someone, but i nvr voice out. I'm not angry, I am juz totally SPEECHLESSS.

So coincidence met JH at AMK station, probably we were in da same train but we din even know that. haha.
看见他的背影那时刻我真的打从心里笑出来了。
我在想,如果每天上班都能那样真心的笑,那该有多好。

March 27, 2010

昨晚遇到变态Ang Mo, 幸好是在CityLink,很多人,所以不怕。
当和gL诉说时,就会联想起前几次被变态跟踪,
我都会固定的拨同一个电话号码, Alex.
第一次真的被吓哭,哭着等他来接我。然后他说:以后不要再穿短裤了!
第二次,没哭了,但还是很怕,就拨点给他,他骂说:你一定又穿短裤是吗?
我说:不是,我只是穿短裙罢了!:p
哈哈,很sweet的回忆吧。。!
gL问我说以后应该不会是aLex了吧,因为他都抛弃我和gL了。。 哈哈,之前曾因为他这样而伤心,但之后想了想,每个人都应该有权利去选择,选择该不该继续守护着同一个人。所以最后也释怀了,虽然遗憾。

刚和JH吃早餐,说着我曾经疯狂过,和现在几近宅女的生活,真的有别。
哈哈!原来我曾经年轻过=)我就是我k!

March 26, 2010

知道吗,有时候并不需要大费周章,
就能让一人感动得很久很久。。
"luggage up pls.." who is this, alicia? yar I juz bought u n geokleng Milo, dun 4get to drink k? -Abang Amin.
很短的conversation, 却很感动。 尤其是,当你累了的时候。
这些关心,在PP是很罕见的。也或许,真的是太忙了。

我想,我应该不会呆在PP,因为每天得站很久,导致动过手术的地方会痛。另外,除了看见LumXiuJie以外,其他的,我都处于“放空”状态。

March 25, 2010

请告诉Irene Papa, 我很好!
不用担心我。。我吃睡都很好。。。^^
除了感动,还是感动。因为。。
我老爸都没那样担心过我!哈哈哈哈。。。

March 24, 2010

给你。

不要吻我 只要抱著我
不要愛我 做我的親人
把手借我 一天一分鐘
讓我還敢做我的夢
做我夢中偉大的微笑的英雄

谢谢你;你们。
那天taxi driver 告诉我, 他是新加坡人,以前曾为了大马女朋友而到大马工作。。
他问我说“很傻吧?那你呢。。?为什么到这你来工作,为甚么不去更远?”
我顿时speechless..."嗯。。” 应酬他“钱咯!”
然后傻笑。
心里想说“你还好,知道自己追求的是什么,而我,我真的不懂。只知道正逃避些什么。。”

外面的世界 (KarenMok)
*在很久很久以前 
你擁有我 我擁有你 
在很久很久以前 
你離開我去遠空翱翔
*外面的世界很精彩
外面的世界很無奈
當你覺得外面的世界很精彩
我會在這裡衷心的祝福你
#每當夕陽西沉的時候 
我總是在這裡盼望你 
天空中雖然飄著雨 
我依然等待你的歸期#


我想这应该是他的心声。
有时候,开心之后,剩下的只是落寞...可以不可以永远都这样?不要分开..

不管是谁也好,只要跟他们聚会过后,都会有着莫名的失落感。就像那天和Irene n Jianhao吃了午餐过后还要上班,心里就想说,哎哟可不可以不要工作啊。。可以不可以继续这样子下去。。?原来不只是我有着这样子的想法, 就连Irene也说如果我那天不需要上班那有多好?最后只好安慰自己的说“YapSiewKuan你不工作,就没钱吃饭,然后就不能和他们出去玩了!”

Thank you for ALL OF U =)


哦对了,刚才玉美刚帮我做了个心理测验,结果是,
我很害怕孤单。
孤单,也会习惯的。

March 23, 2010

YapSiewKuan 的病态语录:

我怀疑,我生病了。

关于弟弟,他终于谈恋爱了。但我真的很不爽,因为他向来都只宠我一个。。
以前会一直想说弟弟若谈恋爱了,那我怎么办。。?曾经因为他说过不管姐姐对他付出多少,他心中的第一个女人, 永远都不会是我,就因为这句话,独自哭了好久。。
一直会警告弟妹最好不要那么早谈恋爱,不然就把你们给宰了!
听起来这姐姐很霸道,其实。。只是不想让他们受到伤害。
叶国霖,我知道你有update我的Blog, 我现在就是很不爽,怎样?!!!!!
先暂时不要call我了啦!我是不会接你的电话的!

另一个不爽,就是Irene... 从fb看到她与她的宝贝合照, 看着看着,
也会很不爽的转开。看不下去了!哈! 心想说,她明明很难会有好朋友,只有我不可以吗?那干嘛还会多了一个宝贝啊。。?!哈哈!

wuJianhao呢,我也超不爽啊!每每看到他有很多朋友,很不爽,
然后我就去交更多的朋友,让他觉得自己其实和其他人没两样,
然后再对他做些贴心的事,让他觉得因忽略我而内疚。。哈哈,
这是烂招数,但至少管用!怎样?!

至于LumXiujie, 我也很不爽,看到很多人很想和她做好朋友,
就很想大声地说:"eh excuse me, LumXiuJie is mine!"哈哈哈。
就因为这样,每次能和她看演唱会,都觉得很幸福。。
然后我都会向别人炫耀,“eh 我和LumXiuJie一起看concert哦!”

以上YapSiewKuan的种种变态病例,不是因为霸道,占有欲强,或是耍白痴.
那只是因为她的自卑病例永远都医治不好。。
深怕自己不是最好,然后就会失去他们。

但。。若有天,该放手了,
她还是会放手。不会再执著了。

March 21, 2010

奇怪,每天都会有人问我,在PP工作开心吗。。Erm,
我有表露不开心吗? 最多也只是No feeling。哈!

直觉告诉我要开始alert我的housemate ady, she is owner's sis.
喜欢就敲我房门,每次都会被吓着。刚刚还鬼祟地向我借钱。。
我真的有恐惧,真的很怕,因为我不认识她。就连现在要踏出房门,也得听听她到底有没有在外面。。oh no! 请不要再敲我房门了!

刚才不小心敲到头,很痛,但还死命傻笑。
皮外的痛,真的不算什么。所以不会哭。
常累积在内心的痛,相信也会变得麻木的。



我有自虐倾向。。喜欢把自己累垮。
也或许,那已经是一个习惯。

有些人,习惯了活在谎言自之中,
也习惯了在谎言里,寻找幸福。

我,或许就是那种人。

明天超忙,最好就是把自己忙到累倒。=)

March 20, 2010

Having Fever T_T
TIRING....

March 19, 2010

虽然做晚班真的很累,但昨天还是很高兴能和joyce,jieying & Gracia 吃晚餐。 =)
很久不见的Joyce和Gracia问我为何变瘦了,
我说因为这三个月内很难过,心情还未回复..

当我一开口说阿公走了,Joyce立刻红了双眼然后哭嚷着为甚么她不懂,为甚么没告诉她,要不然她一定会送阿公最后一程。。就她这么一哭,让死撑已久的我,也跟着泪如雨下。
忘了,她也很喜欢阿公。。
阿公就是不乖,但还是那么多人喜欢他,但...他再也不会知道了。
最近很感触,总觉得生命很脆弱。
有很多的感慨与无奈..可是都不能做些什么。
我想,我应该还好。=)

伤心之后,我们又恢复不逻辑的思考,开心的胡闹着。

留下来的人,就得好好的过生活,那是所有后人的心愿吧..我想。

有你们真好 ^^

March 18, 2010

不管以前的她是什么样的人,是好或不,都无所谓了。
她突然间离世了,还是会感觉很遗憾。

R.I.P Vicky...

March 17, 2010

残了啦!这次真的很确定椋在外面的内衣裤整串都被偷走了!
是很恐怖的咯!
很奇怪,今天真的很忙,
在这忙碌的12个小时以内,之间发生了很多事,但都不关我的事!
只是觉得被烦死,因为不知为何他们都来找我投诉了!可怜了自己的耳朵!
我想说,我站的是departureCounter, not councelingCounter 啊!
我也很忙的好不好。。细节不必多说,因为都很无聊,
有的无聊投诉被顾客骂,有的投诉被同事陷害,有的哭残了,有的则一直在我身边碎碎念,
说老实,除了那位哭残的一外,其余的我是觉得“有够无聊”到~我觉得很好笑!
我想我已经是神仙级人物了,虽然真的很不愿意听,但我还真的可以对他们笑得很可爱两下呢~!

我确定我真的老了,因为他们所投诉的一切,对我来说,都是小事了,都无所谓了。
只要你能庆幸地多活一天..都无所谓了。。突然很想念,在国小时。。阿公常踏着脚车载我上学的样子。。就像电影看到的那样。想念他。。傻笑的样子。

很努力寻找着让自己开心的地方,只怕找到心也累了,都还找不到幸福的终点。

March 16, 2010

oh no, how come I woke up so early...
12hours shift later, die.
But still..gambateh la yapsiewkuan. =)

Welcome home Ms Chng ^^
如果我每天努力的笑着,
能让和我一起工作的人感到开心,
那也很不错。他们开心就好。
然而,也慢慢地觉得自己很假了。

能够对某人掏心掏肺地说出一切,
是很幸福的事。我该庆幸,
我拥有的,是很多能够让我相信的人,
总是不厌其烦地听我倾诉,只因为他们了解我。

总觉得被排侧的她,很可怜,
因为她很天真,她真的不知道自己被讨厌,
因为她常对我说他们很好。。我想,
或许该为她做些什么。。

开心,因为我是幸福的。
谢谢你们。 >.<


March 15, 2010

天还在下雨。。如果每天都是这样,那有多好。
又是一个漫长的星期,一起加油吧!
我的矛盾可以当饭吃了。
我要的是什么,我不知道。
回到了过去,却又想要未来。。
拥有了未来,却又一直在怀念过去。

很美的她,突然觉得她不美了。很是浪费。人啊,个性真的很重要。
Mag问我说“姐姐为什么你工作时都是静静的。。?”
我想说。。因为姐姐老了,面对很多的事情,都渐渐的变成“SPEECHLESS"了。
不会哭了,不会生气了,很多东西都无所谓了,因为累了。 就这样间单。

岁月真的不留人,这样的我,是否很失败。。?
真的很矛盾,为甚么我还是从前的那个的我。

March 14, 2010

Juz hd a long fb chat with DarrenVoo..my long lost fren n he was da one who given me the name YelaiXiang..hahah! Yeah so happy he still rmb me n I really missed the moment when working with him in Swissotel. He was so SUPER lame de lo...ahaha..lol! Hapi Hapi!

Going to hv a long day later. But I will jiayou one, for GL. >.<
Tired but happy day!

Working with GL this morning, we suppose managed to go off early but we were off late again to helping others..we are trying to be ONE TEAM k, only hope that ppl won't just take for granted ba! After work, met up with JieYing for a while at Marina Square & da mall was so SUPER crowded due to IT fair at Suntec! Sien!

Had dinner with my lovely GL & went to Jam Xiao's concert together with JH too! Yar I love ah Xiao too after enjoyed his show! He is very lame & his concert was creative de lo...LOL..haha=)
My buddies...GL & JH, 就算我很累了,但还是很开心能与你们在一起。。haha! 谢谢你们!=D
GL is sick, just take MC ba..no worries, 我挺你!^^

March 12, 2010

juz cam back from KL n working now from 7am till 7pm...Oh shit i'm very tired tired tired n SLEEPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

March 10, 2010

Yeah going back to m'sia later! Imagine I hv to come back by tomorow midnight coach...sien~! haha!
okie i'm tired, sleepy n hungry now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

March 9, 2010

"Thank you for banking with us. We will be serving you shortly."
Oh no! shi super long queue de lo...

okie, should start work now...Jiayou alicia^^
Juz had supper wiz Farez after work, he is one of my favourite colleague in PP but sad that he is leaving PP soon & going to join MBS next week =( MBS again...haha!!! Thanks Ms chng for came over to PP to passed me bank statement & she got to know her future colleague Farez already before she join MBS..haha..

I'm really shocked that i was told by darren that he kena sexual harassment by a malay guy in TimesSquare toilet juz now...oh no!!!how come guy sexual harassment guy one??? crazy sia~! Okie i should buy him pampers next time. hahahaha..>.<

Okie, starting from now i wanna speak more English with my frens..haha! I think i will be d most quite one. haha!

March 8, 2010

Oh no, I failed to make a new atm again..hahah
It's really good to received EGCC from guests...It makes my day! haha! Yeah!

I'm always thinking..erm how to make my frens happy..let me think wat should I do for GL now=) Nowaday getting more n more ppls from Pp knows my blog address ady..Oh no can't ghossip Pp here ady...haha!!Yar Makoto u right, I'm super fake de lo! haha!

Okay, I shall go sleep now.. Tomorow must wake up early n go bank to make a new atm card, can't be so lazy liao.. if not really jia ka ki lo... haha!

March 7, 2010

Okie six more hours to go..aiyo waterly k.. :P
Jiayou Yap siew Kuan.
Juz came back from NTU for JH & Rubberband's singing contest with Rene..We were lost in da university & we walked for 15mins to looking for Mcdonald but end we coudn't find it, den we took another 2omins to reached NTU auditorium..shi tired de lo. haha! But worth it la, cox for us Rubberband has did a good performance lo. Okie, we bias la. haha! Yeah expecting for d next rubberband's performance^^

Some photos to share..
Rubberband



Yeah I like Miaoru..haha
Here Comes da zhujue, Jianhao n da chicken..hehe

walked so long way, we used to entertaineted ourself.

What's so excited..? haha..

she looks like selling ticket one..haha


finally she got something to eat, bread from nat


waiting for da show start..


this chicken so enjoy & more excited than us sia...


writing loveletter for nat


this pic is so natural, haha tq Ms Chng


waliao imagine i blog half way den fell asleep juz now..now is 6am, okie shall cont my sleep now...

March 5, 2010

Juz came back from dinner with Irene & Josephine..Is their last day today @ MMS ..huh~! Who else working in MM?? haiyo...a bit sad to see MM become like this, cox it used to be my favourite working place leh...haha! This should be my 1st photo with Josephine ba! haha..Goodluck Josephine~!

Dunno why i was totally soul out today @ Orientation..too tired, no mood, no energy till fell asleep in da class..paiseh siah~! hv took 15mins to drew dis this pic..rather dat listen to d presenter...haha! Frens, maybe u can find your name from dis pic duh~! hehe...

Last day Orientation today...It's really good to know so many different type of ppls.. I was so tired...but still 硬挤笑容。

I should go sleep early after finish to uploading photos on fb cox i'll send off jenny @ airport tomorow...oh no~! so early sia...haha! Shit, now den i realized that I had no time to but her souvenir..how ar?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

March 4, 2010

TOday..only a word, 衰!

March 3, 2010

Had juz meeting with all my takalo ate-ate Jenny, joyce & cherly at MM Mcdonald after orientation today..I was so tired but still very happy to met up with them=) This was actually a farewell meeting for ate Jenny n I'll going to send her off at da airport on this coming saturday but i insisted to telling her that i'm not free on sat. Leave her alone! hehe^^ I feel like I'm a takalo also whenever taking photo with them~! haha...

Orientation today was quite fun. Not so boring as wat i tot.. = ) I like Jeanne's session but not others.
Can't wait for the breaktime. The trainer like kena lamed by us! haha!



This is how ppls thought of "The 1st Impression of Alicia" - Sweet & Graceful. Err.... haha! All kena cheated by my super fake smiling face!


Okie, alicia yap, should away from ur labtop & start to clean n tidy up ur room now k! So messy!!!

March 2, 2010

Compared DM post, I am more happy to be a little receptionist. No stress, can jux anyhow lame anytime. I'm tired being c/in c/out machine but I really enjoy it! ha!! Most properly cox I worked with GL ba! so that's why I doesn't feel like work so stress...eventhough hotel occ is always HIGH!

Oh yar I love my charming FOM-Terence, he is so super kind to helped me updated reg.cards lo!!!hahaha..imagine, he is FrontOfficeManager leh!!!

有时候在外,会瞬间忘了阿公已走了,一旦回到家看见阿公的照片,就很心酸,总会掉泪。每次都会突然醒过来。。oh 他真的走了。。=(
Very busy day for me again today! haha..
Met with GL for movie dis afternoon n gossip2 about pp...hehe! She is damn emo now, I hope I can do something to her =)

After dinner with GL, met with JieYing , Makoto, Lena n Peggy for ktv..had a very fun night with them juz now n happy that we only spent $14 per person nia! ^^I'm so impressed that they sang japanese's songss very well lo...only me dunno how to read jp's wording sia. Su liao. haha! Luckily I know "forever love from DBSK" when Lena singing..huh~! Imagine if JH join them..super Japan's ktv de lo!

After a day off, I failed to clean my room again :P Feel so paiseh to myself. haha!

Now i'm very pek cek that I hv to work 12hours shift tomorow! Can't meet up with Jocasta them for Jenny's farewell n dinner wiz JH also. Sien~!


My 1st photo with PanPac members...Yeah ^^

Two ah lians sat on floor when taking train home. :P

March 1, 2010

Yeah off tomorow. Finally got time to spring clean my room. Super messy!

How come so sudden got so many frens to meet up next week..? GeokLeng, JieYing, Makoto, CacatChristine, ate Joyce, ate Jenny's farewell, Irene n josephine's farewell, Zoey sis, Jianhao's singing contest n blah blah blah... Erm it's really weird, all happen in a week. I din even meet any fren at all dis week. haha!

I slowly got used to be alone liao. and...soonly I will become a 宅女. haha!

Hope my frens GL n JH can be happy always. Jiayou!